I Love You, Grandad.

Hey Grandad, it's me. I don't know if you can hear me, and what I have to think, feel, or say, but I have a few things to tell you.

When I got back home today, I was planning on having a relaxing evening to recover from a very sad - feeling day. I hadn't felt like things were okay all day. Friends were asking me if something was wrong, and I didn't know how to answer, because I just didn't know why I felt sad. I figured perhaps that this Monday was a Garfield - bad kind of Monday, but as I walked downstairs to fetch a hot water bottle from the kitchen, I stopped outside the door suddenly, because I could hear mum crying madly.

I didn't want to enter the kitchen. I didn't want to see mum crying, for whatever reason it was. I don't like tears, even though I shed too many myself. I stood outside the door, not knowing what to do, and then I hear your name ... My heart proceeded to climb into my throat.

No, it can't be. Not you. Not 'strong old Grandad' ... You can't be gone. Not now. I still need to remind you again of how much I love you.

Standing outside that door, my mind flashed through hundreds of things ... Memories of our last Grandad Hug and how utterly strong and warm your chest felt, our last holiday to Majorca and how you defended me when I got hurt, how the last day we spent ... Just you, nana, and I ... Was last February, and how I ate sandwiches with you as your read the paper ... The sun shining through the windows, sharing green grapes as we did a puzzle while nana sipped tea and talked softly to us.

That day was beautiful. It reminded me of all my childhood visits to your wonderful home. The home that I will possibly never set foot in again. The home that has felt like my home ever since I can remember. The one I wish I could live in one day.

You taught me a great many things through the years, Grandad. You taught me that I should eat grapes to remind me of the sunny days we sorted through stamps together, you and I. You taught me that I could count my true, real, for - life friends on one hand. You taught me that I am special, that even though I find it difficult to make friends, my real friends and family will always be there for me, and that whenever I am bored and don't know what to do, I should draw or paint something that makes me happy. You told me that I should always be happy, because happiness is something you could never put a price on, something that will let me live my Life properly, something that will be my greatest companion forever.

You taught me that, most importantly, I should never settle for Love, because true Love is found when I feel like a man treats me like the little princess you always thought I was. You said that too many things in Life are sad, distressing, depressing, and scary ... Love shouldn't be one of them. You said that I should never ever be with somebody where I can't be me, because nobody should change something that is already perfect in it's own way. "You are too special to settle for somebody who isn't worthy to be in your Life forever."

Oh, Grandad ... There is so much more that I need to say ... To help you understand just to what extent I admired you as a role model, a father, and a husband.

Through your Life you did many things, achieved many things, and were many things, but the greatest, I think, was being my Grandad.

I love you, Grandad. I love you very much.